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Everything I need to know about living in New York City I learned from Friends.
If that were true, I'd be working as a waitress and living in a spacious two-bedroom apartment in the West Village.
Oh, and I'd have a monkey.
When the groundbreaking series--which is still one of my favorite shows, by the way--premiered, I was a mere 12, way too young to truly comprehend the suckiness of making financial ends meet in this great city. Since I didn't know any better, I figured that's what life must really be like as a twenty-something in New York, and I couldn't wait to be one.
Except in reality, only rich people live in the West Village unless you're cramming into a studio apartment with five roommates. And the only cute fuzzy creature frolicking around my apartment is the uninvited Mickey.
So I'm here to cut the harnesses on suspended reality so that other kiddies don't make the same mistake I did.
With that, in no particular order, I give you:
The Most Unrealistic New York Sitcoms Ever
1. Friends
It boggles the mind how six single young adults whose collective resume includes waitress, unemployed actor, freelance massage therapist, and off-the-books caterer can afford ginormous Manhattan apartments with money left over for coffee. Hell, a cup of coffee in Manhattan is pretty damn close to a month's rent itself.
Besides the obvious apartment situation, another thing that always bugged me about this show was how the characters found new, more fulfilling jobs almost instantly after deciding they weren't being challenged enough in their current fields.
Rachel complains to Monica that she can't stand being a waitress anymore, and bam! Mark from Bloomingdale's overhears her and helps her get an interview. The fact that she likes to go shopping apparently is qualification enough for her to land her dream job in fashion merchandising. Chandler wakes up one day and decides he hates his job as a "transponster" or whatever the hell he does, and quits. Supportive wife Monica applauds him for it.
That always happens in real life, right?
Try it. Go out to dinner with a friend and bitch about your crappy job. (You know you're going to anyway). Watch how quickly a stranger pops up out of nowhere and offers you a new one. Or, go home and tell your spouse you quit your job for no apparent reason.
Let me know what happens, if you don't get killed first.
2. What I Like About You
Okay, I know I'm not the only one who watches the reruns of this show on ABC Family. And since you do too, you're probably also estimating that Holly and Val's monstrous duplex complete with balcony should cost about $9,000 a month in rent.
There are also subtleties that only a New Yorker would notice and be bothered by. Like the episode where Holly is supposed to attend an interview at Columbia (which she would have no shot of getting into in real life anyhow, since she's always cutting class) but she would rather hang out in Coney Island with Vince. Tina tells her she'd better leave because her interview starts in 45 minutes.
Did the writers of that show have any idea how long it would take to ride the train from Coney Island to Columbia University? With a stop in the East Village to change into interview clothes?
A lot more than 45 minutes, that's for sure.
In another episode the gang is seen eating takeout from Chili's. Ahem. There is no Chili's in Manhattan.
And how the hell did Holly get into Stuyvesant?
3. 2 Broke Girls
Granted, I have only seen one episode, but it was enough to annoy me. I had high expectations, since I love Kat Dennings. But the implausible and yet cliched premise turned me off immediately. For the blissfully uninitiated, I'll fill you in: Former rich girl Caroline is forced to--gasp!--get a job when her family loses their fortune. She waltzes into the Williamsburg diner where poor girl Max works and immediately lands a job.
Wake-Up Call #1: In today's crappy economy, you need upwards of three years experience in food service and several references just to land a waitress job, especially in hipster W'Burg. Sometimes they even ask for a head shot.
After predictably overcoming their superficial differences, the two girls realize they both share the same dream of opening a cupcake business and decide to start saving money towards it.
Wake-Up Call #2: Rich girls don't have dreams about opening their own businesses because they never had to worry about making money.
The newly minted BFFs come to the realization that if they each make $1,000 a week, they can save up to $8,000 a month and have enough to meet their goal of $250,000 in two years.
Wake-Up Call #3: A waitress making a grand a week? Putting your entire check in savings? Forget New York; this isn't realistic anywhere.
Doesn't the title include the word "broke"? If fifty grand a year is considered broke, then I guess I'm shattered beyond repair.
I'm not saying these shows aren't entertaining. Hey, the reason why we watch TV is to escape reality. And I have to say, they're more realistic than the so-called "reality" genre.
As for me, I'll take Sex and the City, where Carrie meets a new handsome, witty man around every corner she turns in her thousand-dollar Manolo Blahniks.
Now that's realism.
