Craigslist, Work Ethic and (Oh Yeah) Fugly Cheap Pleather Coats

As you, dear reader, probably know, I have been searching for freelance writing opportunities.  This is because, as much as I love living in New York, it ain't cheap, and I'm starting to think a supplementary source of income isn't a bad idea.  However, as much as I am putting myself out there for writing opportunities, I'm also exploring other avenues until something comes along.  The other day I noticed an ad on Craigslist for Pizzeria Uno's, which is located across the street from our apartment.  Upon applying to it, however, I got the same reaction from both Dave and my mom: "A waitress?  You?"  That's all they said, but what they didn't say spoke volumes, as in, "Don't you have to be nice to be a waitress?"

True, I have never worked in food service before.  And my idea of serving dinner at home is telling Dave I'll go pick up the pizza.  But I figure it would at least be a complete change of pace from my day job.  Still, though, I'm not sure how well I would fare if they ended up hiring me.  I mean, I became an elementary school teacher because I'm willing to put up with kids' crap, but not adults'.  At least when a kid does something obnoxious, you can chalk it up to the fact that he's six years old.  Adults don't have that excuse. 

My mom was like, "Why don't you go get a job in a store or something?"  I suspect that she made that suggestion because she mentally blocked out the time I worked at Bang Bang Boutique in Forest Hills when I was in college.  It was honestly the worst job I ever had, and the one I held for the shortest amount of time (about eight months).  I wasn't treated poorly or anything like that, but I just didn't care.  At the beginning of each shift, our assistant manager (who was two years younger than me) was always like, "Sell, sell, sell!  We're pushing the (fugly cheap pleather) coats today!  Always ask the customers if they need any help!"  (In case you haven't figured it out, my ad libs are in parentheses.)  My philosophy was, are you going to pay me more if I sell the (fugly cheap pleather) coats?  No?  Then I don't give a rat's behind if someone buys them or if they sit on the rack until polyester comes back into style (which will hopefully be never).  I'm still making the same six dollars and fifty cents an hour. 

It didn't take long for the powers that be at Bang Bang to discover my work ethic when it came to floor sales.  Pretty soon, I was relegated to door person.  For the blissfully uninitiated, the door person masquerades as a greeter ("Welcome to Bang Bang!" with a big smile on my face) but is really placed there as some sort of bizarre teenage bouncer, whose sole purpose is to check potential shoplifters' bags and "watch" people that the manager deems suspicious-looking.  What my manager didn't realize is that my retail work philosophy also applied here.  I didn't care if people brought bags into the store and I refused to watch customers because I didn't care if they shoplifted, and frankly, there was really nothing I could do if they did.  What was I, a minimum-wage-paid, 120-pound college student, going to do if someone tried something?  Run down the street and tackle them?  "STOP!  GET BACK HERE WITH THAT (FUGLY CHEAP PLEATHER) COAT!"   I think not.

Suffice it to say that retail wasn't the field for me.  Even if you don't consider the fact that I had nothing in common with the girls I worked with (many of whom, I know for a fact, did coke in the bathroom on their breaks) I'm just not a good salesperson.  I don't like pushing people into doing things or buying things they're not sure they want in the first place.  But I know a lot about food and drink, so I think I would be able to persuade a person on the fence to have a beer or two.  So we shall see what happens if, in fact, I do get called for an interview at Uno's.  I'll keep you posted.  In the meantime, I'd like you to post your best (and worst!) experiences in food service and retail.  Why?  Because misery loves company.